Q1, S05 Calling the Disciples
Question 02:
DO YOU DESIRE ME?
This dot is you. It’s you at this exact moment. You where you currently are. Take a minute to assess: who are you in this exact moment? That doesn’t mean your Myers Briggs or Enneagram number. The question is more pointed.
To get to know a person, you could ask where he lives, what he does for work, what his hobbies are, etc. These questions will give you helpful information. But if you really want to know a person, you have to ask about his desires.
What are you spending your life pursuing? What do you desire most? Where are you disillusioned? What makes you hopeful? What wrongs do you want to make right?
Direction
Every vector (think of an arrow) has a direction. In an airplane cockpit, each plane is marked on the radar by an arrow. It enables you to not only see the other planes around you, but also what direction they are headed. This is essential information if you want to avoid a collision.
Our lives move in the direction of our passions towards the objects of our desires. We all have many desires, and those desires are aimed at multiple objects. If you love and desire your spouse, you’ll want to spend time with and please him or her. If you love your children, you’ll watch them play sports, you’ll eat meals with them, and you’ll play games with them. If you desire to excel in your career, you’ll devote time and energy into everything your job requires. This is how desire works. We are always moving in a direction; each desire propels us in a given direction.
Magnitude
Consider also that each vector also possesses a certain magnitude. In other words, some desires are stronger than others. All of our desires play a role, but our strongest desire at any given moment sets the direction of our motion.
As we continue to watch Jesus interact with people, we will see him uncovering the direction of people’s hearts. Jesus was masterful in exposing a person’s desires. He could see the sum of their desires, and he would challenge people to make difficult choices to change the direction that were are heading. No one gets through life without desires. It’s simply how we were created to function. But we all suffer from disordered desires. Repentance is all about re-ordering our desires. It’s a turning from one direction to another. It’s about re-orienting the vectors of our life back to the proper object, which is Jesus.
Think of your desires in terms of their magnitude, where magnitude equals the force of your desires. While there are many objects of our affection, we do not desire all things with the same force and magnitude. The difficulty with this is twofold:
1) Resources are finite, so we need to make choices. It would be nice to think that you could be fully passionate about golf, family, Jesus, and career. But the reality is that your time, emotional capacity, and head space are limited. So you need to make choices. Not everything can be equally balanced. Not everything can receive all of your passion. So your life tends to move in the direction of greatest magnitude.
2) Generally speaking, we make the most sacrifices for the things we desire most. We tend to shape our lives around our greatest passions without trying. It is the force of our desire that makes this a reality.
When Jesus encountered people in the New Testament, he constantly confronted them in the realm of desire. He wanted to know how much they desired to be with him. The greater the desire, the greater the willingness to drop other things. It’s startling to see Jesus call people to leave their possessions and families in order to follow him. But Jesus wants us to begin by assessing our desire for him. Do we really want this? Do we really desire him?
Tool: Vector
Our tool for this section is the vector. It reminds us that a description of our current location and status is not enough to explain who we are. It’s all about our direction. Our desire. And this also reminds us that it’s not necessarily about our progress at a given moment. Again, it’s about the direction we’re heading. What desire in your life right now carries the greatest magnitude? In which direction are you being pulled? Do you truly desire Jesus? How much? If he called you to leave everything behind and follow him, would you do it? As you’ll see in the sessions that follow, this was not a hypothetical situation for Jesus’ original followers. So just like these early disciples, we need to evaluate the magnitude of our desire.
Quarter 1, Session 5: The Calling of the Disciples
DO YOU DESIRE ME?
Passage
John 1:35–51
Concept
This session falls under Jesus’ second question: Do you desire me? As Jesus began his ministry, he invited ordinary people to follow him. They didn’t know everything about him or where following him would lead, but they found him compelling enough to leave their former lives in order to be with him. We are in the same situation. We don’t know exactly where following Jesus will lead, but we have to ask how much we desire him, and what we are or aren’t willing to let go of for his sake.
Key Question
What do you find compelling about Jesus? Are you intrigued enough to follow?
The Vector Tool
Do you see our vector tool being played out in John 1:35–51? With whom? How so?
The Calling of the Disciples
What do you want most in life? If you’ve ever been part of a Bible study, you know the right answers to that question. But be honest with yourself. Are you seeking happiness for yourself or for your family? Success? Prestige? Significance?
One great way to assess what you want most is to take stock of what you’re making sacrifices for. When you’re willing to give something up (comfort, immediate happiness, money) and incur some form of pain or struggle (exercise, awkwardness, financial strain), what are you trying to gain in those situations? If you want one thing more than anything else, you’ll constantly have to let go of other things in order to attain it. Marrying one person means closing the door on all others. Choosing one career means closing the door on other options. Buying one house means saying no to other houses, and you’re often also limiting your ability to buy cars, vacations, etc.
What would you be willing to leave behind in order to gain the thing you want most?
The disciples had to discover their own answer to this when Jesus walked up and called them to follow. They were leaving different things in different situations, but they all had to demonstrate their desire to be with Jesus by letting go of things they loved and valued. As you read John 1:35–41, keep an eye on how this dynamic plays out.
1. Read John 1:35–51. Right off the bat, what strikes you about this passage? What do you find interesting or challenging or confusing?
The Quest
In verse 38, Jesus turned to two of the disciples who were beginning to follow him and asked “What are you seeking?” This could be simply answered: “We’re just curious what all of this is about,” but Jesus is after more than this. We’re all seeking after something in life. We probably wouldn’t phrase it like this, but we’re all on a life-long quest. We’re searching for something, even if we can’t quite pin down what it is: fulfillment, belonging, significance, success? So asking ourselves the question is an important step in following Jesus. Knowing whether or not we desire him will require us to evaluate what we’re trying to get out of life. Jesus is the true answer to every noble pursuit, so every path of desire, when rightly understood, ought to lead us to him.
2. Jesus asked, “What are you seeking?” How would you answer that? Based on your pursuits, expenditures, career choices, hobbies, etc., what would you say you’re seeking to get out of life?
3. We all make sacrifices for the things we want most. When you make sacrifices, what are you sacrificing for? What does this say about what you’re really seeking?
A Bold Invitation
We’re used to thinking about Jesus walking up to a group of men and saying, “Follow me.” But if you think about it, it’s a pretty bold thing to say. How much self-confidence would it require to walk up to strangers and say, “Hey, it would be good for you to follow me and do the things I’m doing.”
If just about anyone in the world asked you to do this, you’d say no. You may give up your job and friend circles for your spouse. Or maybe for a best friend or a parent. But is there anyone else who could invite you into their life and you’d actually consider leaving everything you’ve known behind? Not likely.
Clearly there was something compelling about Jesus. The disciples wouldn’t have known much about Jesus at this point, but they were ready when he called. All of us are in a similar situation. Before we answer Jesus’ call to follow, we all have some level of context for understanding who Jesus is. Some know very little, some know a lot. But unless we find what we know about Jesus to be compelling, we won’t desire him. And if we don’t desire him, we’ll never follow him.
4. Try to place yourself in the shoes of these disciples. What do you think they saw in Jesus that was compelling (given what they would have known about him by this point)?
Leave it Behind
Here’s the real test of whether or not you desire Jesus: what would you be willing to give to follow him? If Jesus had asked the disciples “leave your fishing so that you can come live with me in a palace and become kings,” the decision would have been easy, regardless of their level of desire for him. But as the story unfolds, we continue to see that Jesus himself is the true draw: they left their jobs and communities and exposed themselves to ridicule and opposition. But they were willing to leave behind careers (for some, like Matthew the tax collector, lucrative careers), loved ones (cf. Luke 18:28ff), and their familiar lives because they wanted to be with Jesus.
How about you? You’d be happy to follow Jesus if it meant social standing, respectability, and a vibrant friend circle (as is often the case in the United States). But what if you had to begin leaving things behind? Would you follow then? What would you be willing to leave, and what would remain off-limits?
5. For the original disciples, choosing to follow Jesus meant leaving many things behind. What have you left behind or what are you choosing to leave behind in choosing to follow Jesus?
Come and See
This passage repeats the phrase “come and see.” Jesus doesn’t give them a detailed contract with a list of disclosures. He’s doesn’t explain exactly who he is or what following him will be like. Instead, he invites them to experience it. If you come, you will see. You don’t get answers to all of your questions up front. It has to start with desire. Do you want to be with him? If so, you’ll be willing to take the first steps of following him.
6. Honestly assess your desire for Jesus right now. Do you actually have a desire to be with him? How is this a struggle for you? Why do you say that?
7. Spend some time in prayer. Ask God to increase your love. Ask him to show you who Jesus is and to help you overcome your desire for lesser things.
Key Question
What do you find compelling about Jesus? Are you intrigued enough to follow?